From “Discernment: Reading the Signs of Daily Life” by Henri Nouwen with Michael J. Christensen and Rebecca J. Laird
Through a series of circumstances, conversations, and contemplative impressions over a six-month period, I became acutely aware that my desire to live and work with the poor in Latin America was not matched with a concrete call. I knew that the university was no longer the place to live out my vocation, but I also started to see that neither God nor God’s people were asking me to make Bolivia, Peru, Guatemala, or Nicaragua my permanent home. My experiences there, as exciting and rewarding as they were, never led me to that deep inner imperative that forms the center of my true call.
As I was trying to discern an answer to the question, does God call me to live and work in Latin America? I gradually realized that the word gracias that came from the lips of the people contained the answer. All is grace. Light and water, shelter and food, work and free time, children, parents, and grandparents, birth and death – it is all given to us. Our very first vocation is to receive these gifts and say thanks. If I have any vocation in Latin America, it is the vocation to receive from the people the gifts they have to offer us and to bring these gifts back up north for our own conversion and healing.
Once I knew that I was not called to live among the poor in Latin America, my task became clear to return to North America and offer my voice to tell others about the needs and beauty of my friends in Peru. As my friend, Jean Vanier later told me that my task was to speak for the poor and not so much to be engaged in direct service to the people. My primary gifts and calling were to write, speak, and be in solidarity with my friends in Latin America. I did not have the grace to live there long term. And you must have the gifts and grace to fulfill a task for it to be a vocational call from God.