From “Discernment: Reading the Signs of Daily Life” by Henri Nouwen with Michael J. Christensen and Rebecca J. Laird
A certain realism is necessary to fulfill a call to work and live among the poor. You have to accept your own history and limitations. You have to remind yourself that Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor,” not blessed are those who try to help the poor. At the same time, you have to deal with the gospel call to downward mobility, accepting that the way of Christ is a self-emptying way. What that means in your own concrete situation will probably remain a lifelong question.
My vocational question did not become easier to answer when I arrived in Latin America. There were days when I felt deeply attracted to the idea of living and working among the poor. But there were other days when I was so overwhelmed by the language and culture, the daily struggles and never-ending nature of the pastoral work that I could hardly imagine feeling at home. My emotions swung back and forth within hours between great enthusiasm and deep self-doubt. I dealt with this hardship by talking with as many people as I could about my plans and non-plans to stay or go.
I allowed myself more time to let things develop in me before making a decision. It was a gradual process of discernment. I trusted I would know what to do when I felt at home and experienced a call from God and from the people. I had to bring my search more intentionally into the presence of God and pray more directly for light.