From “Embracing Your Second Calling: Find Passion and Purpose for the Rest of Your Life” by Dale Hanson Bourke
In their book God Will Make a Way, psychologists Henry Cloud and John Townsend describe a concept called “finishing.” According to Drs. Cloud and Townsend, we all have relationships, experiences, and lessons in life that are sometimes painful, difficult, and for whatever reason, hard to process. As a result, we walk around with certain feelings, patterns, and conflicts that do not relate to the present but to people and events from a previous time. Because those things are not “finished,” they get in the way of present situations, present relationships, or present goals.
What the authors are describing is something more than a hurt or bad habit. They are talking about something that becomes grooved into our lives. The unfinished business from our childhood or issues that defined us in the first half of our lives continue almost predictably into the second half. In many ways, they become more obvious. No longer young and spunky, we become cranky and crotchety. While we were once motivated go-getters, we become unstoppable steamrollers. What appeared to be a conciliatory tendency in our youth now looks more like being a dishrag. We become stripped down to our basic tendencies, and it isn’t always a pretty picture.
God Will Make a Way, along with its corresponding workbook, is an excellent resource if you feel like you have some unfinished business in your relationships. I personally found the book helpful on this topic and many others.