From “The Language of the Soul: Meeting God in the Longings of Our Hearts” by Jeff Crosby
A powerful line from Palmer’s book A Hidden Wholeness retained with me on that journey: “We arrive in this world undivided, integral, whole,” he wrote. “But sooner or later, we erect a wall between our inner and outer lives, trying to protect what is within us or to deceive the people around us. Only when the pain of our dividedness becomes more than we can bear do most of us embark on an inner journey toward living ‘divided no more.’”
From the first time I read those words to well beyond the time I drove several hours back to my home after spending that day with him, those words rang true, as I reflected on our conversation and the stirrings of my soul related to several dimensions of dividedness, including my work, my experience of church, and persistent questions about my public persona and my private self-conception.
That meeting was a prompt to learn more and to dive deeper into an awareness of the markings and makings of undivided life. To embark on a journey toward more consistent, life-giving integration is a challenge. Yet the conversation and those words that leaped off the printed page merged to become a catalyst to deal with the walls of division that too often were present in my life, the places of dis-integration I knew were within me, and longed to see healed. What also merged in that quest was a nudge to invite God to meet me there and to show me a way forward.